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My husband has not introduced me to his family and I am worried

A Muslim wedding in Brunei Darussalam. Muslim weddings, like most weddings in any culture, are family affairs.

A Muslim wedding in Brunei Darussalam. Muslim weddings, like most weddings in any culture, are family affairs.

Dear Wael,

I recently married my husband in his country of residence, and although we married in the same city as his parents live in, he did not invite them nor did he ever introduce me to them.

He claims it was because he was “on the outs” with them at the time, but later I discovered that he still lives with his parents (except when he was in the U.S. for college and work). So at the time that we married, although we were living together at a resort, he was officially living with his parents.

Now he keeps delaying my meeting his parents. Initially he said when we got our I-129/K3 visa approved I would fly back, meet his family, and we would come to the U.S. – however, during our last conversation, he said I would meet his family “next year”. I wonder if he is using me for money or a green card, even though so far he has paid for everything. The closer we get to having his visa approved, the more my intuition screams that something isn’t right here.

Today he replied to an email saying I haven’t met his family because he hasn’t met mine – but my entire family and all of my friends know that we married – and if he weren’t 10,000 miles away he would have met my family before we ever married. But he and I were staying in the same town as his family lives for 30 days, and we even got married, and I never met them. It hurts to end this now, but I know it would hurt more 2-3 years from now if he gets citizenship and leaves me.

I mean, we had a great time together and get along well, but there are a few issues, such as my not meeting his family and some other issues, that have me worried. I mean, he is Indian born and working in the UAE, but in all three cultures, Indian, Muslim, and American, marriage is a FAMILY CENTERED event. I am hurt and worried over not meeting his family, and it makes me doubt his commitment to our marriage.

- Colima

Click here for Wael’s answer to this question.

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Life Goes On: Mixed Sunni-Shi’ah Marriages in Iraq

Mixed Sunni-Shiah marriages are increasingly common in Iraq
Mixed Sunni-Shiah marriages are increasingly common in Iraq
By Ahmad Hassan
Translated By Yosra Mostafa
Reprinted from IslamOnline.net

With the continuing sectarian strife in several areas of the Iraqi capital, one might be surprised to find that the cultured Baghdadi youth remain uninfluenced when it comes to marriage. Their choices can still include someone from a sect or ethnicity other than their own.

Yes, it is true that Baghdad is divided between the two main sects: Sunni and Shiite. One will find neighborhoods that are either predominantly Sunni or predominantly Shi`ah. In areas where Sunni and Shiite intermingle, there are militias defending the major sect and they may try to obstruct the presence of families from the other sect. However, these militias never prevent marriages between young men and women who belong to differing sects or ethnicities. The main reason is that many Iraqi families are originally mixed families, and there are areas where sectarian and ethnic exclusivity is non-existent; this helps to bind all constituents of the Iraqi society together. Moreover, religious authorities, both Sunni and Shiite, do not ban mixed marriages.

Touring the different areas of Baghdad, I talked to 66-year-old Ahmed, who worked on the railways for 32 years. His lineage is Shiites and goes back to Imam Musa Al-Kazim. Ahmed said, “When the Iraqi government was formed in 1921, it was not sectarian. Rather, it relied on educated people and school graduates to fill government positions.”

His father is an example of such a history. Ahmed recalls that his father was from Baghdad, but worked in the Kurdish city of Al-Sulaymaniyyah. His father married a Kurdish woman and they had many children. Although his paternal grandfather was a sayyid (Shiite religious scholar) and his maternal grandfather was the imam of a mosque, both fathers did not object to the marriage.

Ahmed continued, “The Shiite tradition does not prohibit Shiites from marrying Sunnis and foreigners, so I maintain strong bonds with my uncles in Al-Sulaymaniyyah, and I have married my daughter to one of my Kurdish relatives. We still exchange visits and have fine relations away from sectarianism.”

Khadija Abdul-Qader is a 35-year-old Sunni teacher who is married to a Shi`ah colleague. She said, “When Abu `Ali proposed 10 years ago, my father never asked him about his sect. He only asked him about his family, their reputation, and his qualifications, and our destined marriage was fulfilled, al-hamdu lillah.”

Khadija explained, “There is no restriction on the practice of religious rites despite the differences. Besides, there are no differences between the two Islamic traditions. I was brought up to visit all the awliyaa’ [saints] from Sayyidna Al-Kazim in Baghdad to Sayyidna Al-Imam `Ali in Najaf, to Sheikh Abdul-Qader Al-Kilany, and Imam Abu Hanifa An-Nu`man. I also used to attend the ceremonies of dhikr at the Prophet’s mawlid [birthday] (peace be upon him).”

“The only difference is that the Shiite let their arms hang down, whereas Sunnis fold their arms in prayer, but this is not a great difference. Prayer is the same, the qiblah is the same, and the Shahadah [testimony of faith] is the same.”

Khadija also made it clear that “Most Iraqi citizens from all sects do not accept the acts of killing and displacement that have taken place in some regions. Even my husband’s family embraced their neighboring Sunni family for a few days when some militants chased them with the intention of killing them or forcing them to migrate, but they were safely smuggled from the area. Most educated people are dissatisfied with these acts, which stand for a change being made to the intertwined social fabric. Even the late Ayatullah Muhammad Al-Sadr (a Shiite religious authority), used to recommend praying in Sunni mosques, and praying behind Sunni Imams. At the same time, he called Sunnis to pray at husainiyyat [female-organized worship, now associated with places].”

sunni-shiah-marriages2
Half of all registered marriages in Iraq these days are Sunni-Shiah mixed marriages

The Personal Status Court

Despite the grave security situation in Baghdad, wedding ceremonies are still held, only with a slight modification in the timing of the ceremony. Instead of an evening ceremony, the families of most brides and grooms have to celebrate at noon to guarantee a safe return home for their guests before the curfew starts. Most newlyweds no longer spend their first days at a luxury hotel in Baghdad, but substitute this with a stay at a house of the groom’s family or a trip to Kurdistan or outside Iraq.

A judge at the Personal Status Court in Al-Karkh area, who refused to mention his name, said, “Among every 17 marriages that I sign on a daily basis, eight to ten are mixed marriages.”

“The families and relatives of the newlyweds are mostly educated people who do not see the sectarian or national differences as an obstacle to the happiness of their children.”

“There are Sunnis who marry Shiite and vice versa. There are fellow Turkmen who marry Kurds and Arabs and vice versa also.”

The judge commented on the problems that may arise from choosing the religious school to follow for the legal proceedings: “There are two prevalent traditions followed in Iraq: the Hanafi school [which is Sunni] and the Ja`fari school [which is Shiite]. But I notice that most people make their agreement outside the court previous to presenting themselves to me, and then I only have to speed up the process and complete the marriage according to the law.”

“I don’t recall that the security incidents negatively affect a large number of people who apply for marriage [certificates]. I think a 40 percent decrease is a fair enough comparison to the figures before the American invasion, because many of the youth have migrated, unemployment is now rampant, security is nonexistent, families are displaced, and heads of families are killed for reason of security or sectarian violence. Traditionally, the death of a relative prevents you from having a wedding party until a year has passed. All of this has directly and indirectly affected marriage in Iraq, especially in Baghdad.”

In the middle of my conversation with the judge, loud sounds of cheering came from outside — the youth have arrived! I ask the judge to allow me to witness the marriage. The groom’s name is Maher, a Sunni engineer who graduated recently and works in one of the departments of electricity. The bride is Zaynab, a Shiite, a graduate from the Department of Translation and a colleague at Maher’s workplace. When the wedding was completed, the cheering was loud, and well-wishers showered them with kisses. I asked Maher after congratulating him if he did not have Sunni relatives whom he could marry. Amazed at the question, he said,”What attracted me to Zaynab is her politeness. This reflects her elevated upbringing and conservative family.”

When asked about how Zaynab’s parents agreed to the marriage when she is Shiite and he is Sunni, Maher replied, “Her father never considered that at all. He only asked me about my job, inquired about my family, then agreed and I appreciated that.”

Then I asked Zaynab, “Do you expect to find difficulties, being from a different sect from your husband’s family?” She replied, “No, no, I don’t expect that, especially as his mother is a Shiite and my husband’s lineage ends with Imam `Ali [`Ali ibn Abi Talib ] (may Allah be pleased with him). Besides, they are a well-educated family and they’re not rigid about their tradition. I noticed this while working with him in the same department for a year. My family as well taught me to respect others and to listen to their views, and that there is no difference between the traditions. I would even like to say that my brother is in Al-Mahdi Army [a Shiite militia], and he did not object to my marriage to Maher.”

And Members of Parliament?

One of the female Parliament members of the Iraqi Alliance List [an electoral coalition formed mainly from Shiite groups] is a Shiite who asked for her name not to be mentioned. She denied any significant effect of the sectarian strife on Shiite –Sunni marriages.

“I’m from a strict Shiite family, but my brother is married to a Sunni, and although he was killed amid sectarian incidents, we married one of his daughters to a Sunni.”

I was tempted to ask her if the sectarian discourse comes up in closed Parliament sessions.

“There are those who are from all [electoral] lists,” she replied, “who talk about nationalism and sectarianism. This mentality differs according to the upbringing and culture of each one. We have on the Alliance List someone who speaks in this manner. Despite requests to not use such expressions which reflect badly on the streets, they commit themselves to not speaking in that way for a week, and then they continue as before. I think the brother on the Sunni Tawafuq List suffers the same problem, but some of them have a moderate discourse that reflects their Iraqi identity and their patriotism.”

I asked her, “As an unmarried young woman, if one of the Sunni MPs proposed to you, how would you respond?” She replied, “If he is not a fanatic, is a college graduate, and is unmarried, then I will definitely accept his proposal, but with my parent’s consent.”

“In the Parliament, we should encourage such marriages to bring about a generation of Iraqis who are not preoccupied with sectarianism, who represent Iraq with all of its constituting elements, and who would build bridges of trust and cooperation with everyone.”

An Iraqi MP from the Sunni Tawafuq List, who wished to be referred to as A.S. said, “I’m against sectarianism, and the greatest proof is that my daughters are married to Shiites, and I’m about to marry one of my sons to a Shi`ah. We should bring everyone closer together because Iraqi history is not sectarian and does not prevent Sunnis from marrying Shiites or vice versa, nor Kurds from marrying Arabs or Turkmen. As long as the religion is one, Islam, then I see no problem in spreading these marriages to preserve the intertwined fabric.”

MP Safiyyah Talib Al-Suhail, a member of the National Iraqi List headed by former prime minister Iyad Allawi, is proud to represent the Iraqi unity with all of its sects. She is married to former minister of human rights, Dr. Bukhtyar Muhammad Amin, a Kurdish Sunni. Her sister is also married to a Sunni and they have sons, daughters, and many grandchildren. I asked her, “In your view, is sectarianism an obstacle for youth on the road to marriage now?” She replied, “The Bani Tamim tribe [to which she belongs] has Sunni moieties. They are a part of our origin and we can’t separate ourselves from them. That is why my father did not see this issue as prohibitive or faulty. He wanted tribal members to follow his example and to see the vision of one Iraq and that mixed marriages are harmless as long as the couples are understanding. Their life should be filled with love, and disagreements between sects and ethnicities should not be an obstacle in the way of love that bonds a husband and wife. Added to this, children would spread messages of interrelatedness and family ties between different tribes and ethnicities.”

After a peak of 16 during the time of the toppled regime, the percentage of Sunni-Shiite marriages may slightly decrease due to fears of failing to build a stable Iraqi family structure. But the Iraqi societal fabric remains well knitted even in the darkest of times.

Ahmad Hassan is an Iraqi journalist and writer based in Baghdad.

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Recommended Ramadan Reading

Ramadan Mubarak! Here is some recommended Islamic reading for Ramadan or anytime.

Ramadan Mubarak! Here is some recommended Islamic reading for Ramadan or anytime.

This new version of Zawaj.com is still in development phase and is actually not “open” to the public yet – that’s why the matrimonial search form on the home page doesn’t function yet. We will formally introduce it within a week or so Insha’Allah. I’m thinking of Friday, August 28th as the likely target date.

But the site has already been indexed by the search engines and some of you are finding your way here, so so I thought I would give you folks something productive to do with your time, ha ha.

Here are some excellent books that I consider essential Islamic reading. Any one of them would be great to read a little from every evening after Iftar, or to give as a gift. All are available through the link below:

IslamicBookstore.com

1. An Interpretation of the Qur’an : English Translation of the Meanings : A Bilingual Edition (Majid Fakhry) – I have this and I read it often. It’s an excellent, modern and scholarly translation. If you’re still reading Yusuf Ali’s poetic but archaic translation, it’s time to check out something different.

2. The Qur’an : A New Translation (Dr. Thomas Cleary) – I would have listed this first except that it’s in English only. The language is modern and clear, yet retains some of the powerful poetry of the Arabic. I highly recommend it.

3. Muhammad : His Life Based on the Earliest Sources : Revised Edition : Martin Lings (Abu Bakr Siraj Ad-Din) – All-time best-selling book on the life of the Prophet (pbuh), now the latest revised edition. You may have read some of the briefer Seerahs (biographies of the Prophet Muhammad) such as The Sealed Nectar of The Life of the Prophet Muhammad, but you have not experienced the breadth and depth of Muhammad’s (pbuh) struggle and indomitable character until you have read this book.

4. Forty Hadith, and Forty Hadith Qudsi – these are brief but fundamental. Read one or two each night and discuss them.

5. Ramadan: Motivating Believers to Action – Ramadan is not just a month of fasting, but a month of spiritual healing. Presented from an interfaith perspective as a means to motivate believers to action, the articles by such famous writers as Muhammad al-Ghazzali, Shaykh Abdul Qadir Gilani, Imam Jawziyya, Ibn Sirin, Seyyed Hossein Nasr, Maulana Mawdudi and Laleh Bakhtiar include essays on both the Law and the Way.

6. Purification of the Heart : Signs, Symptoms and Cures of the Spiritual Diseases of the Heart – Translation and Commentary of Imam al-Mawlud’s Matharat al-Qulub (Shaykh Hamza Yusuf).

7. The Fundamentals of Tawheed (Islamic Monotheism) Dr. Abu Ameenah Bilal Philips – A Muslim should be familiar with the basics of Tawheed, which is the fundemental principle of Islam. This book presents a detailed explanation of the classical Islamic concept of God’s unity as it relates to faith and acts of religious devotion.

Well, as you can see my preference is for more scholarly works, but you can find all kinds of good stuff at IslamicBookstore.com, including children’s books, movies and CDs, and toys. I have been shopping with them for several years now and I’ve always been satisfied.

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Ramadan and Eid ul-Fitr Announcement for North America

Ramadan Mubarak to our readers and all Muslims around the world

Ramadan Mubarak to our readers and all Muslims around the world

First day of Ramadan will be Saturday, August 22, 2009
and Eid ul-Fitr on Sunday, September 20, 2009, inshaAllah.

“O you who believe, fasting is prescribed to you as it was prescribed to those before you, that you may (learn) self-restraint.” Qur’an 2: 183

The Fiqh Council of North America (FCNA) recognizes astronomical calculation as an acceptable Shar’ia method for determining the beginning of lunar months including the months of Ramadan and Shawwal. FCNA uses Makkah al-Mukarram as a conventional point and takes the position that the conjunction must take place before sunset in Makkah and the moon must set after sunset in Makkah.

On the basis of this method the dates of Ramadan and Eid ul-Fitr for the year 1430 AH are established as follows:

1st of Ramadan will be on Saturday, August 22, 2009
1st of Shawwal will be on Sunday, September 20, 2009

Ramadan 1430 AH:
The astronomical New Moon is on Thursday, August 20, 2009 at 10:01 Universal Time (1:01 pm Makkah time). Sunset at Makkah on August 20 is at 6:47 pm local time, while moonset at Makkah is at 6:46 pm local time (1 minute before sunset). Therefore the following day Friday, August 21, 2009 is not the 1st day of Ramadan. First day of Ramadan is Saturday, August 22, insha’Allah. First Tarawih prayer will be on Friday night.

Eid ul-Fitr 1430 AH:
The astronomical New Moon is on Friday, September 18, 2009, at 18:44 Universal Time (9:44 pm Makkah time). On Saturday, September 19, 2009, sunset at Makkah is 6:20 pm local time, while moonset is at 6:36 pm local time. Therefore, first day of Shawwal, i.e., Eid ul-Fitr is Sunday, September 20, insha’Allah.

May Allah (swt) keep us on the right path, and accept our fasting and prayers. Ameen. For more detailed information, please visit: www.fiqhcouncil.org or www.moonsighting.com

Sincerely,
Dr. Muzammil Siddiqi
Chairman, Fiqh Council of North America

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Dear Wael: she is three years older than me, is it wrong?

“Dear Wael:  I’ve known this girl for a few years now and I wish to marry her. But the problem is that many think it’s wrong that she is 3 years older than me. I love her very deeply and I believe she does too, but she’d never betray her family and friends. What i want to know is that is it lawful for a Muslim girl who is 3 years older to marry a Muslim boy?”  - Matt

Click here for Wael’s answer to this question.

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Dear Wael: Is it okay to marry a policeman?

Question: Is it okay to work for the police in this country? I’m looking to get married and the person that im interested in works for the metropolitan police response team. - Sister Shaima

Click here to read Wael’s answer to this question.

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How to pray and fast in countries where the day or night is continuous?

Northern lands experience a phenomenon called "perpetual twilight", in which the summer sky retains some light all night long. This is Alaska's Kuskokwim River, taken from 40,000 feet up, from a 747 commercial flight from New York to Tokyo.

Northern lands experience a phenomenon called "perpetual twilight", in which the summer sky retains some light all night long. This is Alaska's Kuskokwim River, taken from 40,000 feet up, from a 747 commercial flight from New York to Tokyo.

Reprinted from Islam Questions and Answer
With Shaykh Muhammad S. Al-Munajjid

Question:

Due to the inclination of the earth’s axis of rotation, regions nearest to one pole experience continuous day for some months, for example, the trading city of Tromso (about 50000 inhabitants) in northern Norway (in which 0.4% of its population comes from Islamic countries) where the sun is visible continuously from late May to late July, while regions nearest to the other pole experience continuous night during that same period. How do Muslims living in Tromso do for Maghrib and Eshaa salaat as night never falls during these few months and also given that the month of Ramadhan falls during this period, how can they fast?

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

Fatwa no. 2769 was issued by the Council of Senior Scholars and the Standing Committee concerning an issue similar to the one you are asking about. This is the text of the question and answer:

Praise be to Allaah alone and blessings and peace be upon the one after whom there will be no Prophet.

The Standing Committee for Academic Research and Issuing Fatwas has read the question that has been sent to the General Secretary by the Secretary the Union of Muslim Students in Holland, and which has been passed to them by the Secretary of the Council of Senior Scholars. The text of the question is as follows:

We hope that you can provide us with a fatwa concerning the way of determining the times of Maghrib, Isha’ and Fajr prayer, and also the first day of Ramadaan and the first day of Eid al-Fitr. That is because the way the sun rises and sets in the countries of Northern Europe that are close to the North Pole is different from the way it rises and sets in the eastern Muslim countries. The reason for that has to do with the timing of the end of the red and white twilight. It may be noted that in summer the white twilight lasts almost the whole night, so it is difficult to determine the time of ‘Isha’ and the onset of the dawn.

They replied:

The Council of Senior Scholars in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia issued a statement on the determining of the times of prayer, determining the start of dawn each day, and the end of the dawn in Ramadan, in countries such as yours. This is what it said:

After studying, researching and discussing the matter, the Council decided the following:

Whoever resides in a country where the night can be distinguished from the day by the onset of dawn and the setting of the sun, but the day is extremely long in the summer and extremely short in the winter, is obliged to perform the five daily prayers at the times known in sharee’ah. That is because of the general meaning of the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning):

“Perform As‑Salaat (Iqamaat‑as‑Salaat) from mid‑day till the darkness of the night (i.e. the Zuhr, ‘Asr, Maghrib, and ‘Ishaa’ prayers), and recite the Qur’aan in the early dawn (i.e. the — Fajr morning prayer). Verily, the recitation of the Qur’aan in the early dawn (i.e. the morning — Fajr prayer) is ever witnessed (attended by the angels in charge of mankind of the day and the night)”

[al-Isra’ 17:78]

“Verily, As‑Salaah (the prayer) is enjoined on the believers at fixed hours”

[al-Nisa’ 4:103]

And because it was proven from Buraydah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that a man asked the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) about the times of the prayers, and he said to him: “Pray with us for these two” meaning two days. When the sun passed its zenith, he told Bilaal to give the adhaan, then he told him to give the iqaamah for Zuhr. Then he told him to give the iqaamah for ‘Asr when the sun was still high and clear white. Then he told him to give the iqaamah for Maghrib when the sun had set. Then he told him to give the iqaamah for ‘Isha’ when the red afterglow (twilight) had disappeared. Then he told him to give the iqaamah for Fajr when the dawn had appeared. Then on the second day, he told him to delay Zuhr until the extreme heat had passed and he did so. He prayed ‘Asr when the sun was high, delaying it beyond the time he had previously performed it. He prayed Maghrib before the twilight had vanished; he prayed ‘Isha’ when a third of the night had passed; and he prayed Fajr when there was clear daylight. Then he said: “Where is the man who was asking about the time of prayer?” The man said, “Here I am, O Messenger of Allaah.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The time for your prayer is within the limits of what you have seen.”

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim)

It was narrated from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The time for Zuhr is from when the sun has passed its zenith and a man’s shadow is equal in length to his height, until the time for ‘Asr comes. The time for ‘Asr lasts until the sun turns yellow. The time for Maghrib lasts until the twilight has faded. The time for ‘Isha’ lasts until midnight. The time for Subh (Fajr) prayer lasts from the beginning of the pre-dawn so long as the sun has not yet started to rise. When the sun starts to rise then stop praying, for it rises between the two horns of the Shaytaan.”

Narrated by Muslim in his Saheeh.

And there are other ahaadeeth which have been narrated concerning the definition of the times of the five daily prayers through the words and actions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). It makes no difference whether the night and day are long or short, so long as the times of the prayers can be distinguished by the signs which were identified by the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).

This is with regard to the timings of the prayers. With regard to the timings of their fast in Ramadaan, those who are accountable should refrain from food, drink and everything else that invalidates the fast each day of Ramadaan, from the time of dawn until sunset in their countries, so long as the night can be distinguished from the day, and when day and night together add up to twenty-four hours. It is permissible for them to eat, drink, have intercourse, etc during the night only, even if it is short. The sharee’ah of Islam is universal and applies to all people in all countries. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“and eat and drink until the white thread (light) of dawn appears to you distinct from the black thread (darkness of night), then complete your Sawm (fast) till the nightfall”

[al-Baqarah 2:187]

Whoever is unable to complete the fast because the day is so long, or who knows from experience or from the advice of a competent. trustworthy doctor, or thinks it most likely that fasting will lead to his death or make him severely ill, or will make his sickness worse or impede his recovery, may break his fast and make up the days that he misses in a month when he can make them up. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“So whoever of you sights (the crescent on the first night of) the month (of Ramadan i.e. is present at his home), he must observe Sawm (fasts) that month, and whoever is ill or on a journey, the same number [of days which one did not observe Sawm (fasts) must be made up] from other days”

[al-Baqarah 2:185]

“Allaah burdens not a person beyond his scope”

[al-Baqarah 2:286]

“Allaah does not want to place you in difficulty”

[al-Maa'idah 5:6]

Secondly:

Whoever lives in a land in which the sun does not set during the summer and does not rise during the winter, or who lives in a land in which the day lasts for six months and the night lasts for six months, for example, has to perform the five daily prayers in each twenty-four hour period. They should estimate their times based on the nearest country in which the times of the five daily prayers can be distinguished from one another, because it was proven in the hadeeth of the Isra’ and Mi’raaj (Prophet’s Night Journey and Ascent into Heaven) that Allaah enjoined on this ummah fifty prayers each day and night, then the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) kept asking his Lord to reduce it until He said, “O Muhammad, they are five prayers each day and night, and for each prayer will be the reward of ten, that is fifty prayers…”

And it was proven in the hadeeth of Talhah ibn ‘Ubayd-Allaah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that he said: A man from Najd with unkempt hair came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and we heard his loud voice but could not understand what he was saying, till he came near and then we came to know that he was asking about Islam. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “(You have to offer) five prayers each day and night.” The man asked, “Do I have to do anything else?” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “No, unless you want to offer voluntary (naafil) prayers”

And it was proven in the hadeeth of Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) that he said: We were forbidden to ask the Messenger of Allaah (S) (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) about anything, so we used to like it when an intelligent man from among the desert people came and asked him a question in our hearing. A man from among the desert people came and said, “O Muhammad, your messenger came to us and said that you claim that Allaah sent you.” He said, “He spoke the truth.” … The man said, “And your messenger claimed that we have to offer five prayers each day and night.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “He spoke the truth.” The man said, “By the One Who sent you, has Allaah enjoined that upon you?” He said, “Yes.”

It was proven that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told his companions about the Dajjaal (antichrist). He was asked how long he would stay on earth, and he said, “Forty days, one day like a year, one day like a month, one day like a week and the rest like your days.” It was said, “O Messenger of Allaah, the day which is like a year, will the prayers of one day be sufficient for us then?” He said, “No, estimate them.”

So the day which will be like a year is not regarded as one day in which only five prayers will be sufficient, rather we are obliged to offer five prayers in each twenty-four hour period. He commanded them to offer the prayers at intervals as on a regular day.

So the Muslims in the country mentioned in the question have to define the times of prayer in that land, basing those times on the closest country in which the night and day can be distinguished from one another and the times of the five daily prayers are known according to the signs described in sharee’ah, within each twenty-four hour period.

Similarly they also have to fast Ramadaan. They can set the time for their fast and determine the beginning and end of Ramadaan and the times of starting and breaking the fast each day by the dawn and sunset each day in the closest country in which night can be distinguished from day. The total period must add up to twenty-four hours, because of the hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) about the Dajjaal mentioned above, in which he told his companions how to determine the times of the five daily prayers. There is no difference in this regard between fasting and prayer.

And Allaah is the Source of strength. May Allaah send blessings and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad and his family and companions.

Al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah li’l-Buhooth al-‘Ilmiyyah wa’l-Ifta’.

Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 6/130-136

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Authenticity of the Qur’an: Another Approach – Part 1

A young Muslim boy reading the Quran.

A young Muslim boy reading the Quran.

By Dr. Gary Miller
Reprinted from IslamOnline.net

Dr. Gary Miller is a Canadian former Christian theologian and minister who converted to Islam. He now works on spreading and preaching Islam to the world.

It must be stressed that the Qur’an is accurate about many, many things, but accuracy does not necessarily mean that a book is a divine revelation. In fact, accuracy is only one of the criteria for divine revelations. For instance, the telephone book is accurate, but that does not mean that it is divinely revealed. The real problem lies in that one must establish some proof of the source the Qur’an’s information. The emphasis is in the other direction, in that the burden of proof is on the reader. One cannot simply deny the Qur’an’s authenticity without sufficient proof. If, indeed, one finds a mistake, then one has the right to disqualify it. This is exactly what the Qur’an encourages.

Looking for Mistakes

Once a man came up to me after a lecture I delivered in South Africa. He was very angry about what I had said, and so he claimed, “I am going to go home tonight and find a mistake in the Qur’an.” Of course, I said, “Congratulations. That is the most intelligent thing that you have said.” Certainly, this is the approach Muslims need to take with those who doubt the Qur’an’s authenticity, because the Qur’an itself offers the same challenge. And inevitably, after accepting its challenge and discovering that it is true, these people will come to believe it because they could not disqualify it. In essence, the Qur’an earns their respect because they themselves have had to verify its authenticity.

An essential fact that cannot be reiterated enough concerning the authenticity of the Qur’an is that one’s inability to explain a phenomenon oneself does not require one’s acceptance of the phenomenon’s existence or another person’s explanation of it. Specifically, just because one cannot explain something does not mean that one has to accept someone else’s explanation. However, the person’s refusal of other explanations returns the burden of proof back on himself to find a feasible answer. This general theory applies to numerous concepts in life but fits most wonderfully with the Qur’anic challenge, for it creates a difficulty for one who says, “I do not believe it.” At the onset of refusal one immediately has an obligation to find an explanation oneself if one feels others’ answers are inadequate.

An old illuminated manuscript of the Quran

An old illuminated manuscript of the Quran

In fact, in one particular Qur’anic verse that I have always seen mistranslated into English, Allah mentions a man who heard the truth explained to him. It states that he was derelict in his duty because after he heard the information, he left without checking the verity of what he had heard. In other words, one is guilty if one hears something and does not research it and check to see whether it is true. One is supposed to process all information and decide what is garbage to be thrown out and what is worthwhile information to be kept and benefited from immediately or even at a later date.

One cannot just let it rattle around in one’s head. It must be put in the proper categories and approached from that point of view. For example, if the information is still speculative, then one must discern whether it’s closer to being true or false. But if all the facts have been presented, then one must decide absolutely between these two options. And even if one is not positive about the authenticity of the information, one is still required to process all the information and make the admission that one just does not know for sure. Although this last point appears to be futile, in actuality, it is beneficial to the arrival at a positive conclusion at a later time in that it forces the person to at least recognize, research, and review the facts.

This familiarity with the information will give the person “the edge” when future discoveries are made and additional information is presented. The important thing is that one deals with the facts and does not simply discard them out of empathy and disinterest.

A very old manuscript of the Quran.

A very old manuscript of the Quran.

Exhausting the Alternatives

The real certainty about the truthfulness of the Qur’an is evident in the confidence that is prevalent throughout it, and this confidence comes from a different approach: exhausting the alternatives.” In essence, the Qur’an states, “This book is a divine revelation; if you do not believe that, then what is it?” In other words, the reader is challenged to come up with some other explanation. Here is a book made of paper and ink. Where did it come from? It says it is a divine revelation; if it is not, then what is its source? The interesting fact is that no one has yet come up with an explanation that works. In fact, all alternatives have been exhausted. As has been well established by non-Muslims, these alternatives basically are reduced to two mutually exclusive schools of thought, insisting on one or the other.

On one hand, there exists a large group of people who have researched the Qur’an for hundreds of years and who claim, “One thing we know for sure: That man, Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), thought he was a prophet. He was crazy!” They are convinced that Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) was fooled somehow. Then on the other hand, there is a group that alleges, “Because of this evidence, one thing we know for sure is that that man, Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), was a liar!” Ironically, these two groups never seem to get together without contradictions.

In fact, many references to Islam usually claim both theories. They start out by stating that Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) was crazy and then end by saying he was a liar. They never seem to realize that he could not have been both! For example, if one is deluded and really thinks that he is a prophet, then he does not sit up late at night planning, “How will I fool the people tomorrow so that they think I am a prophet?” He truly believes that he is a prophet, and he trusts that the answer will be given to him by revelation.

The Critic’s Trail

The Quran is a source of guidance and truth.

The Quran is a source of guidance and truth.

As a matter of fact, a great deal of the Qur’an came in answer to questions. Someone would ask Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) a question, and the revelation would come with the answer to it. Certainly, if someone is crazy and believes that an angel put words in his ear, then when someone asks him a question, he thinks that the angel will give him the answer. Because he is crazy, he really thinks that. He does not tell someone to wait a short while and then run to his friends and ask them, “Does anyone know the answer?” This type of behavior is characteristic of someone who does not believe that he is a prophet. What the non-Muslims refuse to accept is that you cannot have it both ways. One can be deluded, or one can be a liar. One can be either one or neither one, but one certainly cannot be both! The emphasis is on the fact that they are unquestionably mutually exclusive personality traits.

The following scenario is a good example of the kind of circle that non-Muslims go around in constantly. If you ask one of them, “What is the origin of the Qur’an?” he tells you that it originated from the mind of a man who was crazy. Then you ask him, “If it came from his head, then where did he get the information contained in it? Certainly the Qur’an mentions many things with which the Arabs were not familiar.” So in order to explain the fact that you bring him, he changes his position and says, “Well, maybe he was not crazy. Maybe some foreigner brought him the information. So he lied and told people that he was a prophet.” At this point then you have to ask him, “If Muhammad was a liar, then where did he get his confidence? Why did he behave as though he really thought he was a prophet?” Finally backed into a corner, like a cat he quickly lashes out with the first response that comes to his mind. Forgetting that he has already exhausted that possibility, he claims, “Well, maybe he wasn’t a liar. He was probably crazy and really thought that he was a prophet.” And thus he begins the futile cycle again.

Part 2 Coming Soon.

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Having Many Babies: a Muslim Take

Many environmental and social activists consider overpopulation to be one of the greatest challenges humanity faces.

Many environmental and social activists consider overpopulation to be one of the greatest challenges humanity faces.

Reprinted from ReadingIslam.com

Date: 11/Aug/2009

Name of Counselor: Sahar El-Nadi

Topic: Having Many Children: a Muslim Take

Name of Questioner: Abhishek from India

Question:

Does Islam direct the married couple to have as many babies as possible? If yes, what about the problem of over-population in the country?

Answer:

Salam, Abhishek.

Thank you for your question.


Your question made me think: Is it not strange that poor nations are complaining of overpopulation as a serious threat to development, while rich nations are complaining of under-population, also as a threat to development?


The EU is concerned about its demographic future because of an ageing population and overall population decline, yet it advocates birth control, abortion, selective pregnancy, postponement of child bearing, same-sex marriages, and less children per family.


In other words, the “civilized” world believes that deliberately decreasing birth rates is a pretext to affluence and happiness, when actually, demographic decline means eventual economic decline.


This formula is obviously faulty, so how could it be sold to other world nations as a ticket to development?


On the other hand, Muslims are not a world power today despite their wealth of human and material resources. Do you think that is due to their large numbers, or a direct result of the mismanagement of their resources?


If 1.5 billion humans had faith, manners, natural resources, and the required know-how to use all that for the common good, would they be considered “human surplus”?


Let us review both situations within the Islamic context of the value to all humanity of healthy, educated children.


Importance of Family and Gender Roles

There are a lot of regulations in both the Quran and the prophetic traditions dedicated to the well-being of the family as a social unit. Each Muslim family member has rights and responsibilities. And the family functions as a whole, harmonious unit rather than a group of individuals sharing the same living space.


Islam also designates gender-specific roles according to the preferences and capabilities of each gender.


As a religious duty, a Muslim man is completely responsible for everyone in his household, including servants and drivers. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) teaches that men answer to God for any negligence in providing for their families and ensuring their protection and wellbeing. In parallel, they are highly rewarded for carrying out their responsibilities successfully.


Consequently, a Muslim woman is not required to go out and find work in order to sustain herself; her men-folk provide for her unconditionally, in return for her carrying out certain responsibilities within the family. Her career outside the house is expected to be second to her highly esteemed job of nurturing her children to be successful humans.


Wherever there is a hard-working, caring dad, and a loving, well educated, pious mom, there will certainly be wonderful children making great contributions to all humanity, not just their local communities.


Obviously, the more of such children we have, the better. No one could argue that this type of children is undesirable or a burden to economy or social development.


In Europe, researchers wonder: are women restricting the size of families through free choice, or because concerns about their position at work prevent them from having as many children as they might actually like?


In other words, children have to be sacrificed in favor of career success, but does this produce affluence and happiness in the long run? (The EU’s Baby Blues, last accessed on August 2, 2009)


Muslim Parents’ Status

Rearing children to be useful individuals is highly rewarded according to Islam, both in this life and the next. Parents enjoy the highest rank next only to God’s, according to the Quran.


This alone is enough reason for Muslim families to want to have and raise good children. Prophet Muhammad teaches that dead parents continue to gain reward from a pious child who remembers them in prayers and does good deeds in their memory as a result of a healthy upbringing.


God’s Provision

People often forget it is not up to them to allow or prevent children from coming into the world. All they can do is try, but it is God alone who decides whether we have children or not, and how many of which sex.


He also created the world in perfect balance; and He knows best how to allocate His gifts. When we interfere to disturb that balance, we end up with a crisis situation, as it is in China for example, where the country is experiencing serious sex-ratio imbalance, to the extent of being called a “geopolitical time bomb”.


This resulted from laws limiting one child per family in fear of poverty, in a culture which favors sons, causing a trend of selective pregnancy, abortion, and even female infanticide.


All those practices are prohibited in Islam in respect to human life and to preserve natural balance. (China Grapples With Legacy of Its ‘Missing Girls’, last accessed on August 2, 2009, China’s Surplus of Sons: A Geopolitical Time Bomb, last accessed on August 2, 2009)

God prohibits killing children, and promises to provide for them because He created them. In the Quran, He addresses the two main concerns: anticipated poverty, and suffering actual poverty; and He promises to provide for every child born in either case:


[Kill not your children for fear of want: We shall provide sustenance for them as well as for you. Verily the killing of them is a great sin.] (Al-Israa‘ 17:31)


[Kill not your children on a plea of want - We provide sustenance for you and for them] (Al-An`am 6:151)


Prophet Muhammad actually promised that marriage and having children warranted God’s provisions and bounty, and he encouraged people to get married and to have children and raise them well.


Consequently, we should view poverty in densely populated nations as a problem of mismanagement of resources and disturbing the natural balance, rather than a result of the number of children born into each family.


The Value of Humans

God describes children in the Quran as a “gift” from Him and not a burden, and mentions them in conjunction with material wealth, stressing their value:


[Wealth and children are the ornament of this worldly life] (Al-Kahf, 18:46)


We never see anyone complaining of a “surplus” of money. How can we complain of a surplus of children then? Money cannot substitute good children, and good children can make money and also do good deeds, and evidently, limiting the number of children doesn’t result in happier or wealthier conditions in the long run.


So why are people refraining from having children after all the above reassurance from the Creator Himself?


It is a shame that people are regarded as a useless surplus when human capital is a valuable economic resource.


Children & Poverty

Many people today are complaining of the lack of food due to increasing food prices. Some wealthy nations actually destroy huge amounts of food to keep the prices up. They also produce bio-fuel from crops such as corn, making more people unable to feed their children.


The German Chancellor Angela Merkel, recently said in a public speech:


If you travel to India these days, people are eating twice a day, and if 300 million people in India do that and suddenly consume twice as much food as before; and if 100 million Chinese start drinking milk too, then of course our milk quotas become skewed, and much else too.


Germany is the world’s largest bio-fuel producer; it also has the lowest birthrate in Europe with 8.18 births per thousand people per year. (Bad policy, not biofuel, drive food prices: Merkel, last accessed on August 2, 2009, Demographics of the European Union, last accessed on August 2, 2009)


The Brazilian President told reporters in Brasilia: “Food is expensive because the world was not prepared to see millions of Chinese people, millions of Indians and Africans eating three times a day.”


Brazil is the world’s largest sugarcane producer, bought by Germany for bio-fuel production.


It is sad this is happening, when there is a ground-breaking invention of Muslims in India to produce energy from plain air! (Muslims Invent Engine That Runs on Air, last accessed on August 2, 2009)


This irresponsible and supremacist exploitation of human resources affects human and animal food resources all over the planet, and causes unhappiness for billions of people.


If we really believed this world to be one unit, we will be able to see a world of opportunities and creative solutions; we will be one big family collectively responsible for finding solutions to our problems. Prophet Muhammad made a brilliant analogy about this concept: (We are all in the same boat, last accessed on August 16, 2009).


The disintegration of family values in favor of individual freedoms, the materialistic and consumerist values propagated by the media for commercial interests, in addition to lack of proper education about life skills and God’s religion, all of these are the true reasons for poverty of soul and mind, which is the most dangerous type of poverty. (The problems of being an older mum, last accessed on August 2, 2009, Is your career making you infertile?, last accessed on August 2, 2009)


I hope this answers your question. Please keep in touch.

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From Heinz 57 to Islam

By Mary Farrag

Reprinted from ReadingIslam.com

Before reverting to Islam I was, well, let’s say Heinz 57 (Editor’s note: for those of you not familar with American colloquialisms, Heinz 57 is a sauce with a lot of different ingredients – in other words, a mix). I was baptized Catholic, made my confirmation as a Lutheran, and we attended whatever church was near to our house. Which probably turned out to be a good thing.

Before Islam, Mary was a "Heinz 57" of religion

Before Islam, Mary was a "Heinz 57" of religion

I left my family’s house when I was the age of 17. As soon as I graduated from high school, I moved into the one bedroom apartment that my boyfriend had. We only lived there for a very short time. Then we moved to a larger apartment.

At this time I really wasn’t going to church anymore because I was too busy working for God. My boyfriend wasn’t religious at all. Actually he was agnostic. Always, he needed things proven to him.

Well, eventually we married but never had any children. We stayed together a total of 18 years.

I didn’t know anything about Islam at all until my current husband wanted to start chatting with me. We were both using a program called Freetel. I don’t think it is even available anymore.

I was used to chatting with many people but never chatted with an Arab. One night I saw on the top of the screen: Ahmed is Calling. I had never even heard of this name before, so I was reluctant to accept the chat.

After a few times of him trying to call me, I accepted. We started off with the usual chat. Where are you from? Are you married? Do you have any children? Then we continued from there.

We were both very unhappy in our marriages. So we became friends. After six months of chatting everyday, I decided that I needed to know this man that I was now in love with. So I came toEgypt and stayed for 23 days.

It was confirmed that yes, we were actually in love. Neither one of us could imagine this was true. We toured most places in Cairo and some parts of Alexandria. At this time, I still didn’t know very much about Islam.

So after the 23 days, I returned to USA . My visit to Cairo confirmed what I needed to do. I needed to get a divorce from my current American husband.

He was very bad to me. He physically and emotionally abused me. During the next six months I was away from Ahmed and fell into a very deep depression.

Learning About Islam

Also during that time, Ahmed, now my husband, started to tell me about Islam. I was interested in anything he had to say.

I was working for low income public housing at the time of all of this. One day, one of my tenants came into the office to pay her monthly rent. Her name is Aminah.

She said to me “Miss Mary, you look different, something has changed in you.”

I told her about my trip and how I was in love with an Egyptian man who was a Muslim. She said that it was so cool. She said that her mom also is a Muslim and she asked me if I would like to meet her mom.

So I agreed and I met Rashida and we instantly got along. She also was a revert, but had reverted 25 years ago. So we started to meet more often, and she also started to teach me about Islam. So between Ahmed and Rashida, I became very interested in Islam.

I started to also study on my own. I started to go to meet Rashida; she had a shop that sells incense, oils and Islamic clothing. So now I was on my way with Islam.

One day I asked my husband-to-be, Ahmed, if he was going to make me become Muslim? On my trip here to Cairo, we got engaged, even though he was still married. So, he said “Mary, look I love you, but I can not make you become Muslim”.

He said, “That is between you and Allah.”

This is exactly what I needed to hear. So, Rashida started to take me to many places where Muslim sisters were. I loved them. They were so nice and peaceful and loving.

Declaring Shahadah

So 3 days before I was to move to Egypt to marry Ahmed, which was 6 more months after getting engaged to him, I called Rashida and told her that I wanted to become Muslim.

She told me to come to her and bring a hijab. So off I was to Rashida’s house. We stood outside on her balcony and she started to say “Ash Hado An La Ilaha IlaAllah”. I said, “Wait, please.”

She said, “Ahh, you have changed your mind.”

I said, “No, no, wait.” I went into my purse and took out my cell phone and called Ahmed in Cairo .

I said, “Ahmed, I want you to hear something.”

He said, “What is that?”

I said, “Here, listen.”

So Rashida said, “Ash Hado An La Ilaha IlaAllahwa Ash hado anna Mohammadan Rasollah,” and I repeated after her word for word.

I started to cry and heard Ahmed crying on the mobile and looked at Rashida and she was crying, Masha’Allah. So then I left Rashida and went home, took my ghusl (special shower). I am sure I did it wrong but Allah knew my niyyah (intention).

So then three days after, I came off the plane. I didn’t tell Ahmed that I wore the hijab.

I walked past him just a little to see if he would know me.

He didn’t, so I walk back and said, “Excuse me, are you waiting for someone?”

He looked at me and just kept saying, “SubhanAllah”, maybe four or five times. I thought he was going to have a coma. I told his friends to watch him until I came past the people to make sure he wouldn’t fall.

Then we were off to get married.

So that is basically my story of coming to Islam. It was so hard for me in the beginning, but now I am so happy and thankful to Allah for guiding me to the straight path.

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On Ramadan, students hold fast together

Mattar Iman prays before the breaking of fast for Ramadan in Michigan.

Mattar Iman prays before the breaking of fast for Ramadan in Michigan.

On Ramadan, students hold fast together

During holiday, Muslim students build ties at dinner table

Reprinted from the Michigan Daily
BY CHARLES GREGG-GEIST
DAILY STAFF REPORTER ON SEPTEMBER 4TH, 2008

LSA freshman Seher Chowhan wakes up at 5 each morning, while most of campus sleeps, to eat a large breakfast and pray.

It’s an unconventional schedule for most college students, but for Chowhan it’s a key part of the observance of Ramadan, a 30-day-long holiday during which observant Muslims do not eat or drink from sunrise to sunset. It began Sept. 1, the day before classes started.

“It’s tough for me,” Chowhan said. “Living in the dorms, you have to explain to your roommate why you’re waking up at five in the morning to eat and pray.”

Fasting Muslims usually eat a meal before sunrise and then gather for a large meal to break their fast and pray when the sun sets, but those traditions can be lost amid the bustle of college campuses.

To maintain the community element of the holiday, the Muslim Student Association organizes group meals to break the fast from Monday through Thursday.

On Wednesday night, LSA senior and MSA’s social co-chair Malik Mossa-Basha gathered with about 50 male students in the basement of South Quad to break their fast with 200 tacos and burritos from Taco Bell.

“Back home, it’s like a huge event,” Mossa-Basha said in between bites of a burrito. “When we’re here, we try to make Ann Arbor our community. It’s like a home-away-from-home thing.”

Because Ramadan is determined by the lunar calendar, it starts ten days earlier every year. And as the start date moves further into the summer, the days lengthen and get hotter.

“I remember seven years ago, fasting from 7 to 4:30,” LSA senior and MSA Outreach Chair Salim Al Churbaji said. “Now it’s, what, 13 hours?”
LSA senior and MSA President Yamaan Saadeh said that while the long days make it harder to fast, having Ramadan at the beginning of the school year helps build bonds between Muslim students on campus.

“It’s more of a challenge because it’s harder to manage your time, but it’s also a blessing, too,” he said. “All of the students have a reason to come together as a group and have dinner together and spend time with each other.”

Thursday night, MSA invited incoming freshmen to break their fast with current members. It was again held in South Quad’s basement, but this time, the burritos were replaced by an Egyptian buffet.

“They’re going away from their families, they’re going away from what they’re used to,” Saadeh said about the freshmen. “So it’s kind of an opportunity for them to join our organization, and find a new family here.”

Chowhan said the MSA’s group meals have helped her make the adjustment to college life.

“Of course I miss my family and my mom’s cooking,” she said. “But it’s really great having this community.”

University Housing also offers accommodations for Muslims fasting Ramadan through a meal plan suspension program. Students can elect to forgo their meals for the month, and get the equivalent value in Blue Bucks.

University Housing spokesman Peter Logan said about 70 students suspended their meal plans for the month, while five exchanged their meals for packaged dinners to eat later.

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